Not sure how to feel...

I just wanted to throw this out and get peoples opinions/takes on the situtation... Im not trying to be whiney, ungreatful, *****y or anything like that... I just feel upset right now.  My BF is a waiter and with today being Vday its a busy night for him.... my birthday is comming up on Sunday so we decided to celebrate then. We had agreed to get a couples massage that day and he said I could decide where to eat. I had been wanting to eat at the Melting Pot for quite some time (he knew this) so I made a reservation there. On Monday I started the 5 day pouch test because I have been going carb crazy lately and just felt I needed to get back to basics. I told him I was doing this and went over the basics of what I could and couldnt eat for the 5 days. He mentioned something about drinking this week and I said I wouldnt/couldnt drink on the 5dpt. I had a goal I wanted to hit by my bday and have been working towards reaching it. I told him for Vday I wanted to get him a nice bottle of wine and some chocolates.... he said no on the chocolate since we would be at the MP (melting pot) on Sunday and he never gave me wines to pick from (hes a wine snob, I dare not just pick something myself). This morning I left a card for him on the table and a bottle of jagermeister. All week long I have been telling him how excited I am for Sunday and going to the MP, I even bought a new dress... the couples massage was scheduled so we were good to go. I get home from work today and hes like, I have a suprise for you - he went to the store and bought dipping chocolate and 3 types of cheese, fruit, wine and champagne. He said 'make sure you eat a lite dinner and take a nap so you can stay up for when I get home'. I pretended like I was excited but inside I was thinking WTF. I held back from saying anything because he had to be at work soon and I didnt want to make his night crappy. Before he left I asked him if he thought I should just cancel the MP reservation because he bought exactly what I was going there for... he said naaah this is just a warm up. So heres my issues with the situtation - he knows that I am doing the 5dpt and cannot eat the chocolate, the fruit, the champagne or the wine... cheese is ok but cheese is very fatty so I can eat like a few freakin bites and thats it.  even if I wanted to eat all that stuff after sticking to this plan for 4 days Im sure it would be a pretty site... helllloooo potty. I always eat dinner around 7-8 and am in bed by 9-10.... he has NO CLUE when he is getting off work and could be home as late as 11 - we had discussed this as one of the reasons we wernt doing Vday tonite. He knows about the surgery and how I eat... one would assume he would have to realize I am not going to eat chocolate, cheese and alcohol tonite then go do it again on Sunday.... Ive been hitting the gym 5-6 days a week for a month now in preparation for my birthday Im not going to blow it all in the end. Originally when I asked him about the wine/chocolates for him he said why not get a bunch of cheeses and do that? I said because we are going to MP I dont want to buy all that cheese when we are going to get cheese - as for the chocolates I was thinking like a 4 pack of godiva or 2 chocodipped strawberries or something. He then says he talked to his sister about MP and she said Ooooo God you will be there FOREVER and you will STINK like the place after. I said, I told you numerous times we would be there a long time thats why I made the reservation early... and you always stink when you come home from your resturant so whats the big deal? He said, oh youve eaten there before? I told him many times I had been there once... how else would I have been able to talk about it eh? I thought I was clear about what I could/couldnt eat for 5 days. I thought my excitement about MP was clear and how much I was looking forward to the choco/cheese on SUNDAY. I feel like he really wanted the wine choco/cheese and thats what he got... it doesnt seem at all he was thinking about me and what I wanted. I had told him weeks ago I would really enjoy flowers... and I got none. No card. Just a last minute thought to run to the store before work. I thought it wasnt very nice to bring up his sisters comments about MP he should have just kept it to himself. Oh and the icing on the cake - he was home all day and didnt do a damn thing in the house... kitchen is a mess, clothes on the floor, full dishwasher. Honestly I would have been much happier not to have to clean up when I got home then have anything else. He knows how I am about comming home to a mess. So basically right now I feel like he didnt listen to a thing I said all week. He didnt really think about me and what I would want for VDay and I feel like my birthday is ruined. I am completely not excited about it, except for the massage, and could care a less about getting dressed up or going out anywhere... the only other place Id want to eat at for my birthday I already have reservations to eat at on Monday with friends. Whats your take? Am I overreacting or what? How should I handle it - say something, ignore it? Hopefully some of you men will chime in so you can explain my BFs man thought process on this one.

Are your hormones raging? LOL I understand what you mean. I don't know what to say, I'm interested on what the guys think of this too...Do we women overreact? And would you rather us tell you or bottle up the feelings?

Lol... no my hormones arnt ranging!

Personally, I don't think you're overreacting.  You've every right to feel let down especially after the clear communication you two had concerning the day. Unfortunately, I have a feeling your BF was doing what he thought was best, despite your talks.  You know, maybe going above and beyond your wishes.  As we know, you didn't WANT that, you wanted what you'd previously agreed upon.  I can empathize a bit because my dh and I have had fondue every year for V-Day except this year because of my recent surgery.  I'm practically on the 5dpt with you lol.  I wanted it so bad but know there's no way I'm having that stuff anytime in the near future. When your BF isn't rushing off to work and you have a chance to talk, I think y'all should.  Don't be whiny of course but calmly explain while you appreciate his effort, it wasn't exactly what you were looking for.  Maybe he can make it up to you in a few weeks when you're done with the 5dpt and you can both enjoy the dinner? I hope things work out for you.

What's up girl... I don't think you're overreacting at all, no.  You made it clear that you were going to allow yourself 1 day "off schedule" and that was going to be on Sunday only.  You also made it clear that flowers would be nice.  You couldn't have done anymore to explain exactly what you wanted except wipe his ass for him, use his credit card on 1800fllowers.com and clean the kitchen for him.  Problem is this: I know what he was thinking.  He was thinking "Oh, she wants fondue - she thinks that's romantic.  Let me give her that romantic setting on V-Day and she'll love it."   He completely disregarded your 5dpt, your weight loss goals, and your want for simple flowers.   (Siiiiiiigh....) He's a boy, honey.  Did he screw up?  Yeah.  Can you expect anything else? No.   (((((BIG HUG))))) P.S. - I'm going to MP tonight with the guy I'm seeing.  Never been there before.  Wish me luck!

I don't really know what to say, cuz I don't know what his thought process was like...i do know that in general women tend to overanalyze things that a guy does - always searching for the real meaning behind everything - and guys tend to do the opposite....if reality were somewhere in the middle, then we would all get a long better...My guess is that he felt like he was obligated to do something, anything, tonight and not just put it off until sunday - kind of like when someone has a birthday right around christmas - you don't just want to celebrate on christmas only and ignore the birthday...As for the slobiness issue - sorry to say that won't ever change, it will only get worse - just ask my wife!

It is time to pick your battles.  Having been right where you are ("What the HELL could you have possibly been thinking when you drew this nice hot bath for me knowing full well that I cannot take baths as long as I have this FRICKING hole in my stomach!?  AND WHY are your socks, yet again, NEXT to the hamper instead of IN IT and why have you yet to take the garbage out, even though it is your ONLY household chore and has been overflowing for DAYS!?") I hear you loud and clear. But, he got the stuff for fondu tonight because he thought you wanted it.  He figures that if you're giving yourself a day off on Sunday, then what is one more night off?  At least he picked up on the fact that you wanted fondu even if he didn't realize that the point was to GO TO THE MELTING POT to get fondue, on SUNDAY.  I would give him a little slack on that tonight, because it isn't as if he picked up a pizza and beer (or something else totally out of nowhere and obviously unhealthy).  Maybe just reinforce the fact that you like to stick to the plan. As for the messy house...Kyle could be sitting in piles of his own filth, rotting food, clothes composing on his body, and he wouldn't notice enough to do something about it until the grime was obstructing his view of Family Guy on the TV.  I really, truly believe that they just don't notice or care to notice.  When I was in the hospital for a week and then staying at my mom's house for several days after, I came home to find dishes had piled up (like he didn't do them the ENTIRE time I was gone), laundry was spilling out of the hamper and starting to take over the bathroom, empty Hungry Man frozen dinner boxes were stacked next to a completely stuffed full garbage can and the house smelt like a combination of rotting food particles, dirty toilet and oust.  But he had washed the counters in the bathroom and put all the clean laundry away before I got home - and when I told him that I didn't appreciate coming home to a sty, he asked me for a list of things I wanted him to do and he did them.  Maybe your BF needs a list - things he needs to pay attention to, share care of and so on.  That way there is no excuse for him not to notice.  Ask him what chores he doesn't mind doing and have him focus on doing those for a week and then re-evaluate.  He might not ever be Martha Stewart, but there is NO EXCUSE to make a woman do it all just because she is the woman, especially when you are both working, busy people.   If nothing else - I totally hear you and I would probably feel the same way.  But I hope you can have a nice night anyway   

Honey-Do Lists? They're OK, but make sure you create the list together - don't just hand it to him and say here is all the **** I want you to do...

Right - hence the "ask him what he doesn't mind doing" and so on.   Something I don't think guys realize is that girls (or at least myself and the girls I talk to regularly) feel like if the guy doesn't do it, he is in a sense giving us a list of **** to do, just by leaving it constantly undone.  I know that isn't the case all the time because the guy just might not care if the house is untiddy, but that is how it comes off sometimes. Anyway...how you feeling?  Any better yet?

I am going to keep my response short and sweet....  You need to get dressed up and enjoy YOUR trip to the Melting Pot (was my birthday dinner spot last Feb 19th) and spot out a new man while you are there. My first issue is this current cat is a wine snob....  Please, unless you own 20 acres of vines there is no need to think you are better then anyone when it comes to wine, it is truly up to the pallet of each person in my opinion. Two:  Who talks **** about the Melting Pot taking too long?  That's funny he is a wine snob but doesn't want to stay for a long, relaxing, and romantic dinner experience.....  Last time I checked Italy was well known for there wines and 3-4 hour meals.  "Lets get some Carl's Jr. and a bottle of wine, don't want to eat too long." There is something wrong with this kid if you ask me....